You know your movie is weak when it compares unfavorably to that monster-invades-a-theme-park classic Jaws 3-D. Colin Trevorrow’s Jurassic World (C-) neither rediscovers nor reinvigorates its dinosaurs-on-the-loose franchise and squanders its inevitability as a blockbuster hit with a soggy script, ho-hum effects and misplaced momentum. Aimlessly dispatching stock characters like a Sims game on continuous loop, the film attempts to up the ante of its cinematic predecessors by introducing a genetic hybrid dinosaur and newly minted action figure Chris Pratt. The hero does what he can with his dreck dialogue. Vying for most annoying cast member are Bryce Dallas Howard as park administrator most identified by her red shag wedge and Vincent D’Onofrio as a bloated villain in waiting. There are a total of two suspenseful sequences, one involving two rather unengaging teenage brothers and another when Pratt is in the cage with his dino-nemesis. Trevorrow adds nothing to the prehistoric pantheon with what could most charitably be described as paint by numbers.
Tag Archives: Action
“Tomorrowland” a Dubious Destination
Disney’s history of imagination is unparalleled, but the studio’s shaky track record of sci-fi is paved with the likes of The Black Hole, The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes and Tron Legacy. So the squandered opportunity for redemption is mighty in Brad Bird’s Tomorrowland (C-), an ambitious film that is full of ideas but misses the mark on executing most of them. The vapid protagonist played by Britt Robertson speaks mainly in cliches, and when she partners with George Clooney in what is basically an extended cameo, he doesn’t add much either to the proceedings aside from faux Han Solo gruffness. There’s lots of overreach about saving mankind from its own destiny, but Bird doesn’t do a good job outlining the plot to properly take audiences along for the ride. What’s left are a few lovely nostalgia scenes, some half-sketched visions of the future, some awkward robots (TV’s Small Wonder was more believable) and an underdeveloped sense of majesty. The film, overstuffed with good intention, is mostly a bloated bore.
“Mad Max: Fury Road” is Intense Action Thriller
The first act of director George Miller’s latest post-apocalyptic epic left me a bit mixed on Max, but as the propulsive parade of vehicular adventure progresses, it became clear that we do indeed need another hero. The adrenaline filled reboot Mad Max: Fury Road (B) is precision tuned in its breakneck stunt work, gloriously specific in its troupe of odd denizens aboard citadel towers and on monster trucks and near operatic in its pacing with few words punctuated by Junkie XL’s thrilling percussion and guitar. Ridin’ dirty in lead acting roles are Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron; and despite their character development coming a bit too little too late, they are strong physical actors for the journey. The film contains unexpected subtext about female empowerment as Theron’s character is delivering the villain’s wives to safe territory, and she is fierce in the role. Sequences with near-impossible odds, such as when Max is fighting with one arm chained to a car door and the other cuffed to a comatose man, showcase Miller’s strong action instincts in their rawest and most entertaining form. Hardy reclaims road warrior-dom from white collar execs and flexes uncanny instincts even when his character is going from one unpleasant challenge to another. Filmed in an orange hue that would make John Boehner envious, it’s a visceral ride into a thunderous domain.
Superhero Ensemble Continues in “Avengers: Age of Ultron” (2015)
Joss Whedon’s Avengers: Age of Ultron (C) assembles all of the superheroes from the original hit but little of the wit for a flimsy follow-up. Lumbering, uninspired and overlong, the film now carries the burden of having to extend the franchise that’s now in spinoffs, on TV and cross-platform. It all seems like a perfunctory business exercise; attempts to elevate the excitement and the scale of the fight sequences just become lugubrious. Without a clear protagonist and with a metal villain whose intentions beyond destruction are unclear, the film limps to its inevitable box office triumph. One sequence with the heroes all trying to hoist Thor’s hammer captures the potential charm of this many greats in one comic movie; the rest is forced.
The Cars are the Stars in “Furious 7”
The cars are the stars, and the wheels in the sky keep on turning in James Wan’s automotive aerial action ballet Furious 7 (B). Over the top in nearly every way, this popcorn flick assembles the gang of driving adventurers led by the minimally expressive Vin Diesel to thwart a British baddie (Jason Statham), conquer two ambitious tasks and then coast through a more traditional and endless car chase in the final reel. But, oh that first duo of tasks! From a sheer stunt spectacular perspective, the parachuting cars into enemy territory and a Dubai penthouse-set vehicular escape involving a drive through three skyscrapers are a gravity-be-damned wonder to behold. The 13 year old boy who is clearly conceiving the script gets it nearly all in place: the buxom beauties, the exotic locales, hilarious quips from a spry Tyrese Gibson, the street fights, equal opportunity wrestling matches (go, Michelle Rodriguez!) involving lots of smashed glass and even some Tokyo grift. The hood ornament on top of the proceedings is a sentimental postscript tribute to golden boy Paul Walker, the heart of the series who passed away before the movie shoot completed. This bittersweet tinge underscores themes of family and brotherhood in a film that is otherwise as subtle as a trucker’s mudflap. And while ludicrous and featuring Ludacris, the enterprise holds together in a whole “muscle cars in space” kinda way. For action fans who don’t need a whole lotta subtext under the hood, this sequel delivers the goods.
Good Riddance to this Trilogy with “The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies”
Damned as the third and most inert installment of an already stretched out film adaptation of a novel barely as thick as a pamphlet, Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies (C-) is the uninvolving conclusion of a most perfunctory trilogy. Coming alive only in an epic dragon village battle and an inventive swordfight atop a sheet of lake ice, the film contains beautifully rendered special effects but doesn’t connect in terms of emotion or storytelling. You’re left to reflect on lingering questions: Was Martin Freeman even the least bit compelling as a protagonist? Was Lee Pace’s elf character the spitting image of Chloë Sevigny with resting bitch face? Was it a cost saving measure to introduce virtually zero new worlds or landscapes? And maybe the dwarves singing in the first installment weren’t really the series’ low point? With the biggest threat in the trilogy slayed in the prologue, what was a post-Smaug epic intended to accomplish? The film’s central fight over the treasures in the mountain is prolonged into about a hundred mini-fights that we’ve definitely seen before in this milieu. This isn’t the worst movie prequel about trade negotiations, but it may wear a lamentable crown of being altogether unnecessary. Perhaps now that he’s milked all the funds from this cash cow of diminishing curds, Jackson can dream up something different and return one day as a king of imaginative moviemaking.
“John Wick” a Stylish Revenge Film
Chad Stahelski and David Leitch’s John Wick (B-) is an exercise in being single-minded of purpose and being pretty successful at it. Keanu Reeves plays the titular hitman whose loss of a loved one triggers a return into an underbelly of crime as he exacts all-out revenge. The co-directors, clearly inspired by anime and martial arts films, bring out the best in their feng shui fighter with the ultimate Reeves performance. Michael Nyqvist and Alfie Allen are delicious villains. The action sequences are solid and the mood and colors of the crime dens are lovingly lit like pages of a graphic novel. Willem Dafoe, Ian McShane and John Leguizamo are among the supporting cast, adding additional pedigree to the killing spree. It doesn’t add up to much, but it’s a good time.
“Jupiter Ascending” a Bore to the Planet Core
The Wachowskis’ Jupiter Ascending (D+) commits the biggest sin in the movie universe: it was a bore to the planet core. Cribbing elements from Dune, Flash Gordon and others in the space opera milieu, this talky tale of an Earthling (Mila Kunis) who gets engulfed in a galactic struggle with a campy villain (Eddie Redmayne) and wrapped up in a forbidden romance with a wolf-eared servant on flying sneakers (Channing Tatum) is lumbering and uninspired.
“Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part I” Milks Formula for More
It’s becoming abundantly clear that Jennifer Lawrence’s protagonist is much more interesting as a fighting archer than a reluctant war propagandist, but the protracted franchise must march on to rebellion and more box office receipts. Francis Lawrence’s The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part I (C-) is one of those creaky transitional episodes in which much is promised for a grand finale, but not much actually happens within the actual film. Given the blank line readings by all involved, it could easily be Attack of the Drones: Julianne Moore, Donald Sutherland and Woody Harrelson are not immune to the film’s reverse-trackerjack of deadly dialogue. The film’s final act, which is ostensibly the middle stuff of a drawn-out two-part treatment of one book, enlivens a bit, with some legitimate battles and even a mildly pleasant honkeytonk number delivered by Miss Katniss to break up the talky treacle. Largely missing are the futuristic flourishes, sinister surprises or even tender touches that marked the series’ earlier installments. Josh Hutcherson gets scant screen time as the series’ inexplicable love interest, and Liam Hemsworth might as well be a hologram given how little our heroine regards his flesh and blood series of manly sacrifices for her (lil’ bro of People Magazine‘s cover-hunk just can’t get past first base). It’s telling that one of the plot points revolves around Jennifer Lawrence’s heroine being an unconvincing actress and needing to improv a bit in real-life dramatic situations to make her rebellion propaganda seem authentic. Perhaps that capable A-list acting will come in Part 4, er, Part II. Most of what happens in this subpar story could have been summed up in a quick prologue to the finale.
“Big Hero 6” Often Amusing
Don Hall and Chris Williams’ animated adventure Big Hero 6 (B-) is a triumph of style over substance, with an amazing hybrid metropolis imagined as a cross between San Francisco and Tokyo and a Marvel comic inspired origin story about a sextet of superheroes. There’s an Iron Giant-style central relationship between boy and gentle robot that provides much of the film’s comic and emotional heft, and there’s a sinister scientific subplot that propels the rise of a super villain. The characters are out of central casting, and there’s no breakout voice talent, prompting the most joyous parts to be the chase sequences through the cool cityscapes. The story is rather routine, down to the training montages and climactic showdown. Really, this is all about the action and the visual spectacle, and those elements are grandiose. It’s startlingly original for a Disney film but not that trailblazing otherwise.
Luc Besson’s “Lucy” Languishes
Luc Besson’s Lucy (C-) has momentum and drive and a super-cool premise; it just doesn’t really know where to start or end. The film theorizes that if people could harness one hundred percent of the potential that lies in the human brain, they would be omniscient, omnipresent and a little nuts. As the titular character, Scarlett Johansson has to singlehandedly carry a lot of the film’s far-fetched notions on her slim shoulders as she’s made an unwitting drug mule for a substance that allows the mind to be used to full capacity. Her backstory is uninvolving, and her quest is never really properly revealed. She’s seemingly on a race against time to beat Besson’s incessant title cards that keep showing the percentage of her brain that are now in full effect. Stock mobster characters and a ponderous Morgan Freeman as a university scientist studying this very phenomenon seem to be the most obligatory of elements in the film. Some of the action and effects are pretty nifty; some are even mildly mind-blowing. But with the brain all revved up with no place to go, it’s a pretty spectacular letdown to find the film isn’t half as smart as it thinks it is. 60%?
“Maze Runner” is Bottom-Drawer YA Adaptation
There’s an intriguing story buried within the Lord of the Flies/Hunger Games/Prison Break mashup that is Wes Ball’s The Maze Runner (C-), but boy is the execution a tedious zig zag tracing some well-trod lines we have seen many times before! An all-teen-boys village of the future requires runners to scope out a maze each day in hopes of finding a pathway to escape (maybe they think there are girls on the other side?) There aren’t Minotaurs in the labyrinth but rather a selection of sinister electric spiders that attack at night if you get trapped in the maze’s doors that close at sunset. A preposterous young adult novel plot really needs an amazing lead actor to add gravitas to the proceedings, and alas the stoic Dylan O’Brien fails to fill the screen with charisma as the new man on campus. The entire ensemble, to be fair, is really quite dreadful in both talent and appearance, representing each cliche available for the dead sprinters’ society and clad in Gap outfits that don’t give one the sense that the costume department really thought out what the dystopian future really looks like. Where is the White Squall casting director when so desperately needed? When a female character (Kaya Scodelario) finally shows up to add some much-needed gender politics to the Katniss Ever-Peen mix, she’s as cardboard as the rest and gives the affair all the excitement Smurfette provides to a Peyo tale. To the film’s credit, there are several really heart-stopping action moments and a few elaborate set pieces of note, although nothing much better than you’d find on a typical episode of Lost. The doubting antagonists are insufferable, the Piggy-esque sidekick grating and the multiple trick endings stupefying. The final reel felt like a big set-up for a better sequel when the cast members have all completed their acting boot camp. There are endless possibilities about how this film could have been rendered with more panache.